Making Spirits Bright (and Comfortable): A Guide to Sensory-Friendly Holiday Celebrations
The winter holidays are often billed as the "most wonderful time of the year." We think of twinkling lights, festive music, gathering with loved ones, and delicious feasts. But for many neurodivergent individuals—those with ADHD, Autism, or Sensory Processing differences—this season can feel less like a wonderland and more like a sensory minefield.
If you or a family member is neurodivergent, you might notice that the holidays bring on extra fatigue, irritability, or the need to withdraw. This isn't about being a "Scrooge." It’s about biology.
Today, let’s talk about what sensory sensitivities actually are, why the holidays are the perfect storm for them, and how we can tweak our traditions to make sure everyone actually enjoys the celebration.
What Do We Mean by "Sensory Sensitivities"?
We all have a sensory system that takes in information from the world—sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and touch. For neurotypical brains, there’s a built-in filter that helps tune out background noise (like a humming fridge) so they can focus on what matters (a conversation). For neurodivergent brains, that filter often works differently.
Imagine your brain is a cup. Every sensory input is a drop of water.
Hypersensitivity: The cup is very small. It fills up quickly. The hum of the fridge sounds like a jet engine; a wool sweater feels like sandpaper; the smell of roasting turkey is overpowering rather than appetizing. When the cup overflows, we get a "meltdown" (an explosion of energy) or a "shutdown" (going offline to protect the system).
Hyposensitivity: The cup is massive. The person might need more input to feel grounded—seeking out tight hugs, spicy foods, or loud music to feel regulated.
While many people may be able to identify one or two sensory systems within themselves that may be hyper or hyposensitive, others may have both.
The Holiday Sensory Storm
Now, think about a standard holiday party through that lens. It is essentially a "High Input" event.
Visuals: Flashing string lights, shiny ornaments, crowded rooms.
Auditory: Overlapping conversations, holiday music playing, dishes clinking, kids yelling in excitement.
Olfactory (Smell): Scented candles (cinnamon, pine), perfume/cologne from relatives, strong food odors.
Tactile (Touch): Uncomfortable "fancy" clothes, hugs and cheek pinches from relatives, changing temperatures.
Gustatory (Taste): Casseroles with mixed textures, unfamiliar foods, pressure to "eat what is served."
When you combine all of these, a neurodivergent nervous system can hit its limit very quickly.
5 Ways to Host an Inclusive, Sensory-Friendly Celebration
The goal of the holidays should be connection, not perfection. Here is how you can host a gathering that respects neurodivergent needs without losing the festive spirit.
1. Light and Sound Control
You don't have to celebrate in the dark, but small changes make a big difference.
The Lights: Avoid flashing or strobing lights. Constant, warm-white twinkling lights are generally much more soothing than rapid-fire multi-colored flashers.
The Noise: Keep background music low. If the house gets loud with chatter, consider turning the music off entirely.
2. The Magic of the "Quiet Room"
Designate one room in the house as a "Low Sensory Zone." This isn't a timeout corner; it’s a recharge station.
Keep the lights dim.
Have soft seating.
Make it clear that anyone (even adults!) can go in there, close the door, and look at their phone or read a book for 20 minutes without being disturbed. This "reset" time can often prevent a meltdown later in the day.
3. Respect "Safe Foods"
Food anxiety is real. For many neurodivergent people, mixed textures (like stuffing or casseroles) can be physically difficult to eat.
The Strategy: Always ensure there is a "safe food" available. If you are hosting, ask beforehand: "Is there a specific dish your child/partner/you really love?"
The Rule: Enforce a "no pressure" policy. No one should be shamed for eating only rolls and cheese. A fed guest is a happy guest.
4. Comfort Over Couture
Holiday photos are nice, but itchy tags and stiff fabrics are a nightmare for tactile sensitivities.
Let go of the dress code. Allow kids (and adults) to wear what feels good on their skin. If that means your nephew is wearing sweatpants in the family photo, let it be. His smile will be genuine because he isn't in physical discomfort.
5. The Gift of an Exit Strategy
Anxiety often spikes when we feel trapped.
Let your guests know ahead of time exactly what to expect: "We will eat at 2:00, open gifts at 3:30."
Make it socially acceptable to leave early or arrive late. "We’d love to see you for dessert, even if you can't make it for dinner."
If you are the one visiting, drive your own car so you have the agency to leave when your "cup" is full.
A Final Thought
Adjusting your celebrations to be sensory-inclusive doesn't mean ruining the fun. It means expanding the definition of hospitality. It tells your neurodivergent family members, "I see you, I value your comfort, and I want you here exactly as you are." If you look closely at my suggestions, you’ll notice that almost everyone you know would likely benefit from their implementation.
May you have a peaceful, comfortable, and affirming holiday season, this year and the next.
